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View Full Version : Evan Roberts the Man..The Myth...and The Legend



mezz1962
03-15-2011, 00:45
Please note I love Evan Roberts and this tale is all in good fun
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I have met The Rock, I have shook hands with Stone Cold Steve Austin but one person has eluded me in my quest of meeting all the greats is Evan Roberts.

Lately the Rock and Stone Cold are back dishing out their form of punishment on the WWE, but no man on the face of the planet can take a beating like our little red headed boy wonder. Who else can night after night, year after year sit in front of his TV and get the beat down that the Nets and Mets dish out to our Monday Night Raw Warrior.

But everyday Monday to Friday at 10am our lil champ pulls himself off the mat and with his corner man Joe Benigno faithfully making sure he is well hydrated, Evan delivers another 3 hours of heart stopping talk radio.

Evan Roberts never quits he is relentless like a Bi-Polar man with ADHD painting his house at 2am Evan just keeps going, he takes the hits and instead of giving up he goes all "Raging Bull" on his critics. When the Nets lose by 30 points most people can't stand to ever watch again but not Evan. Dragging his poor father kicking and screaming out of the house Evan revs the engine of his 1972 lime green Ford Pinto and putters his mean machine toward Newark, NJ.

He arrives at the Prudential Center a bit late due to the homeless man sleeping on the street forcing all 4 cars heading to the game that night to take an alternate route courtesy of Evans ever faithful sidekick Tom-Tom. Evan once again forgetting to bring his laundry to his mom was forced to go deep into his never ending supply of Net shirts and arrives at the game wearing his Dikembe Mutombo Nets jersey and he personally meets and greets all 8 fans that attended that night.

The next day Evan gets on WFAN and graciously recalls the tales of his previous nights adventure and gets all melancholy because once again Kim Kardashian failed to show up forcing Evan to go under his mattress where his "Mother Juggs" magazine waits for his nightly visit. Evan has had other Christmas presents over the years that were much more impressive like the 42" HD TV Uncle Bob bought him, or the time his mom and dad bought him a bunk bed even if Evan did not have a brother Evan gleefully pretended his life size Mr. Met doll was his long lost sibling but, nothing compares to his "Mother Juggs" magazine that Aunt Lulu provided after she caught him in that awkward situation when Evan for the only time in his life forgot to lock the bathroom door.

As we enter a new season of dread and misery I like to call "Amazin Time" our little boy wonder once again slips on his Hoodie Footie Mets PJ's making sure the rear trap door is fully buttoned he smiles silently thanking his Mom for cutting out the little escape hatch. A quick shiver goes through our little hero's body as he remembers that time when deep in the throws of that "Mets frankfurter food poisoning" episode he just did not have time to get out of his Hoodie Footie and had that unfortunate accident. To this day every time "The Rock" says "Can you smell what I am cooking" Evan starts to sweat.

Evan Roberts is so tough he not only can watch all 100 games the Mets lose he actually spends his money and flies to spring training every year to watch the Mets lose even more....Now that's a man's man!

Each year Evan pulls out his NY Mets official duffel bag and packs every Net and Met jersey he owns and heads off toward Kennedy and a new adventure in Florida. As he sits on the plane Evan pulls out his WWE John Cena lunch pail hoping to God his mom didn't forget to pack his fig newtons like last year and starts to eat his lunch. Munching happily on his Fluff n' nutter sandwich the man sitting next to Evan grows increasingly crazy as Evan hums the "Meet the Mets" theme song over and over for the full 2 hour flight.

Arriving in port St Lucie Evan pulls out his Touch phone and starts tweeting about his safe arrival. He loves his Touch phone even if that one Saturday his life line to his twitter account started sending Adam The Bull pictures of a naked Evan Roberts every 5 minutes. Evan shutters thinking about The Bull screaming "WTF...WTF" over and over as a desperate Evan tried to forward the pictures back to his craiglist ad from which they came.

Evan tweets about everything from being the Tom Seaver of his twitterball game in which Evan pitched his team to an Ollie Perez like 13-10 win to an "Ugly" chick trying to pick him up at a local watering hole. Yes Evan has a throng of desperate woman who long to be the first and hopefully only Mrs. Evan Roberts, but no worries Joe Benigno is advising Evan every step of the way in the art of having a happy first marriage.

Part two of the life and times of Evan Roberts coming in a few days...

Written by Dominick from Hicksville

BTW I don't use periods, commas or anything else called punctuation correctly so if you want to whine, cry or scream about my butchering the English language then take a friggin number and get the "F" in line. I have written 5 novels and I pay my editor good money (Sometimes double) to make sense of what I wrote. As she puts I am a story tell not a writer and I 100% agree with her. So on forums I really am not going to spend what little I have (Authors make nothing) on correcting my diatribes...Thanks

MooseFanatic
03-15-2011, 05:05
I met Evan at Best Buy couple of week ago in Manhattan.

He is a great guy. He took the time to talk to his viewers who came to see him. He came off likable.
He answered a lot of my questions on sports. He gets it. He knows viewers make his show successful,
which is something most hosts don't understand.

I want to say I used to hate WFAN until I got to know him. Since then, I started listening to station
when he is on. I like the fact he loves talking sports and how he is such a sports junkie. His takes
on sports are good.

Since he is 27, I feel he will get better at what he is doing now. I love what I am seeing.

I am fortunate to know him.

mezz1962
03-15-2011, 08:57
I think Evan is great also. You can tell he can take a joke because he makes fun at his own expense which is refreshing because most people take themselves too seriously. He is one of the best on WFAN and you can tell because he can work with a variety of other host's and get along seamlessly with their style.

The Boss
03-15-2011, 09:43
I actually thought Evan blended the best when Francesa had his week of co-hosts try out a few years ago. Evan's good but it would be nice if he stopped scoring games and going to Net games. That stuff is just weird. Thanks God he's got Benigno there to keep him grounded

MooseFanatic
03-16-2011, 02:09
One thing Evan has to get better is being vocal in criticism. He needs to go at it with teams that are underachieving.
He is way too nice and liberal. He needs to do a better job of holding teams in town accountable. I get on him about
this a lot.

I am guessing he does not want to rock the boat being a young kid and all, but that's not going to make him effective
at his job. Fans want to see host calling them out when the situation persists. Most of the time, Joe does Evan's dirty work
in going after coaches or players in town.

I have no problem with Evan talking Nets basketball. Nets are a local team here, and it's good
he's talking about them. I used to be a Nets fan during the Kidd years, and it bothered me not
one WFAN host talked about them even in playoffs, which is why I boycotted the station in the
last decade.

mezz1962
03-16-2011, 06:13
We'll I can Guaran-Damn-Tee he calls out the Knicks today (Wed 3/16) because they lose Back to back to the suck ass Pacers. The Nets needed the Knicks to win both for the Nets sake. Joe B will of course lose is mind being a Knick fan. I am sure Joe B will be all over the Dynamic duo of Melo/Dantoni

The Boss
03-16-2011, 09:13
I think Evan slams teams and players at times.. it seems he starts the show with a rant pretty often. Next to Benigno, he seems passive though

Jimmy from Brooklyn
03-16-2011, 23:50
I think Evan is going to be on an episode of Animals Hoarders..I heard he had like 10 cats. its just uncomfortable to think about

champ11228
03-21-2011, 01:40
He starred in the movie Tromeo and Juliet

Georgia Roddy
04-13-2011, 19:00
What a great role for Evan - Boy Dancing in Field with Father Lawrence. lol

fansince87
08-27-2011, 11:01
Bumping this old Evan thread. Tried to listen to Evan this Morning since pretty much everything else was hurricane related.

Starts the show off with "Happy hurricane!" Strike one and I tried to find something else. Came back and he is talking about Freedom the cat and him evacuating after the show. Not a big deal if you can do the 4 hour show then we really don't want to hear about it(enough hurricane stuff out there). Strike two and I leave 660 again. A glutton for punishment I came back again and he is talking AJ Burnett as you might expect. I guess about a minute in he pulls out the analogy gimmick. A device used on sports radio way too much. Comparing AJ to a guy who is really good looking but has trouble talking to girls. Just say AJ has physical skills but bad concentration and mental focus etc. Analogies are for school when explaining hard concepts in math or science etc. You don't need that device to explain sports stuff which is not that difficult to understand in the first place. Unless he was using the analogy as the gimmick to fill up more air time by saying the same thing in a different way. Likely since the evacuation thing was probably to fill time as well. Either way is not good. Strike three and I'm done.

The real shame is how little he has improved. If he were a baseball player he would still be in the minors. Problem is that he is here on the major sports station in NY. This is not some small market place where he would be fine. Neither very good on his own and kinda brings down Beningo as well. They will probably re-sign him when his contract is up too. At this point I think it unlikely that he will improve and that we are stuck with him. We deserve better, this is NY after all.

Everyone be safe through the storm!