View Full Version : Melo Saves The NY Sports Fan

03-22-2011, 09:50
The sun was shining bright and the springs warmth waft through the air, after a long winter where it seemed the snow would never stop falling the New York sports fans woke up this morning depressed and sad.

The fans rubbed the sleepiness from their eyes and stretched the soreness out of their arms and legs as WFAN played in the background. Reading the paper while cradling a steaming hot cup of coffee would help them get ready for another long work day, but still something was amiss.

In a multitude of cars sitting idle along a stretch of the L.I.E these bumper to bumper traffic victims tuned their radios to 660 AM. That empty feeling that each person carried with them all morning, started to fill knowing Benigno and Roberts would surly lift their spirits. As Boomer and Carton was winding down another morning show. A quick check of the time showed that in just a few minutes Joe and Evan will be on air and doing some quick calculations most drivers knew they would not make it to work before Evan and Joe were finished with their 20 minute opening and it brought smiles to many sport fans faces.

Like an old friend revisited many times Joe opens the show ranting about Green Jerseys and Evan reminded us all of his latest twitterball heroism as the NY sport fan spirits were lifted, but still it seemed like an old friend had passed during the night "Surly WFAN would let us know if someone had left us?" fans silently thought.

Sitting around a seemingly endless supply of water coolers throughout NY, sports fans gathered to talk about the latest NY Knick disaster and like the proverbial light bulb going on, each New Yorker collectively realized what was missing. There was no Oliver Perez or Luis Castillo talk anywhere to be found. No WFAN callers screaming, No back page photos, No nothing! Our Olie P and Luis were no longer with us.

All at once millions of NY sports fans cried "Oh My God what will we ever do now!". For the past year, a part of each day was filled with either an Olie P or Castillo story. Last year when the long baseball season had ended and the Giants, after many frustrating years finally secured a World Series title, Olie and Luis were our main topic of conversation. True the Yankees Cliff Lee sweepstakes and the Mets Maddoff ponzi scheme may have for brief moments replaced the two stooges as the #1 story but the two bumbling, stumbling, fumbling athletes were never far from our consciousness....and now they were gone.

The New York fans are sad and lonely without their two punching bags around, no longer will we able to call WFAN and scream "Why are these two morons still on the team?" Who will take the mantel of Most over rated and Most over paid NY athlete? Who will the fans have to kick around? Who will be man enough to suck so bad that he will become the latest athlete who could not handle the pressure that the bright lights of Broadway brings?

As millions of sports fans pondered this question Joe Beningo brought us the answer, like God enlightening Moses, Joe said the magic words that resonated throughout the greatest city in the world "Carmelo Anthony is a Bum!" screamed the infuriated host.

New York Sports fans everywhere rejoiced knowing Melo has arrived just in the nick of time to fill the void left with Olie P and Luis's departure. Melo with his atrocious shooting percentage and his matador defense will save us all from talking endlessly about another season of Mets failures and a Yankees/Red Sox battle for the division title.

Thousands of fans that night arrived at MSG and all eyes turned to Carmelo who was standing away from where the Knicks had gathered after a time out, We watch his face and a perfect Luis Castillo sucking on a lemon expression was evident. Melo's arms crossed across his chest his posture is similar to what we have all seen time and time again after another seemingly endless supply of walks handed out by our late hero Olie P, the NY sports fans cry out with Glee..."Thank you Melo for saving us all....By the way "YOU SUCK"

written by Dominick from Hicksville

BTW I don't use periods, commas or anything else called punctuation correctly so if you want to whine, cry or scream about my butchering the English language then take a friggin number and get the "F" in line. I have written 5 novels and I pay my editor good money (Sometimes double) to make sense of what I wrote. As she puts I am a story tell not a writer and I 100% agree with her. So on forums I really am not going to spend what little I have (Authors make nothing) on correcting my diatribes...Thanks