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mezz1962
03-25-2011, 00:46
In WFAN's long history there have been some legendary callers, Jerome from Manhattan, Miriam from Forest Hills, Eli from Westchester, some of these callers are sadly no longer with us, but there is one caller who is immune from the effects of time, this caller will never grow old, and each time he calls it's as if we are hearing him for the first time.

Mets, Yankees, Giants, Rangers, for every sports team in and outside of NYC there is one special caller who is so passionate about his team that every listener knows he or she will be calling in sometime during the day or night., But this one legendary person is not constrained by these types of subjects. This giant among men will talk about anything and every time he calls we immediately stop what we are doing and in unison the whole WFAN community smiles, and anxiously awaits the next sound from this..THE GREATEST WFAN CALLER OF ALL TIME!

Certain hosts have their followers, Adam the Bull has James who every listener knows will say "This year the Orioles are gonna beat the stinking over-rated Yankees". Joe and Evan have Eli who calls in every so often to talk a little "twitterball", but without a doubt the man who has the #1 caller of all time, is none other than Tony Paige.

Tony normally works the overnight, 1am to 6am shift and we should all be happy he does, because no one can handle this caller any better than he does. Yes ladies and gentleman, Steve Sommers maybe the Schmoozer, but Tony Paige has the "Snoozer"

Every so often on the overnight shift the "Snoozer" arrives without warning. From the first instant the listeners hear that unmistakable sound of the Snoozers arrival, the world just seems to stop. The Snoozer transcends us all, and in that one brief moment in time, we exist in a world that holds no racism, no sexism, no political ideology, and all throughout the WFAN listening world, smiles have broken out.

The best at handling this unruly and sometimes downright nasty caller is Tony Paige. Yes the unexpected snorer can at any moment try to trip up our late night hero, but Tony is no Leon Lett. No matter what is thrown at him, a snort, a cough, a unexpected high pitch nasal cavity busting cackle, Tony can handle it.

I once heard one Snoozer who without a doubt was a left hander being he was so crafty try to throw Tony the ultimate curve-ball.

One night during a somewhat steady and uninspired outing, this lefty Snoozer out of no where let out a tremendous "Burp" but Tony unlike Leon refused to fumble the ball at the one yard line and with years of practice and steady determination, Tony Paige brought that "Snoozer" home.

A typical call goes as follows

Tony: "Bob from the Bronx your on the Fan"

For a moment complete silence fills the air waves in the WFAN studios. Behind the glass Casey Keefe starts to sweat thinking, once again the ever reliable WFAN phone system has crashed.

Casey sent an almost inhumanly evil stare in the direction of the picture of a smiling Mark Chernoff who held a rather large hammer over a ceramic pink piggy bank while his unsuspecting child was sleeping peacefully in his bed.

Casey was muttering to himself, and cursing WFAN for ever using those "Buy 1 phone get 2 phones Free" coupons.

While Casey ran around the small glass encased production booth like he was being chased by some crazed Samoan with a machete, he punched Rufus in the head, waking him from his nightly fantasy of him and Brooklyn Decker reenacting the beach scene in the movie "10". As Russell woke wondering why Casey once again ruined a perfectly good dream, it happens.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Casey stops dead in his tracks fearful of even making the slightest sound so he can listen and be sure that it is indeed him.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the snore came through loud and clear. Casey breathing a sigh of relief, went back to his control board.

As if he was expecting the Snoozer all the time. "Hello Bob I am so glad to hear from you" came Tony Paige's smooth voice.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"The Mets, of course we can talk about the Mets"

zzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzz

"Yes, Yes I know the Maddoff mess is upsetting you"

zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"No! I don't think the Wilpons knew anything"

zzzzZZZZZZZZ - cough - zzzzzzzzzzz

"Now you have to watch what you say Bob...we may have children listening"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"I know you're sorry"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Well I think they are going to trade Reyes"

zzz -Cough -zzzzzzzzzz- Burp - ZZZZZZ

"That's it Bob! I told you we can't have that language here" Tony hangs up and apologizes for the way Bob lost control.

As Tony moves on to his next caller, thousands of listeners along the east coast of the United States start to ponder the ultimate question.

Does UFO's really exist? Will the Cubs ever win the World Series? Will Evan Roberts ever wear anything other than a Net or Met T-Shirt? While all these question are great there can only be one ultimate WFAN Listener question...."How the hell does the phone stay attached to the sleeping callers face?"

Could THIS! be the reason the Police are investigating the disappearance of dozens of GPS windshield suction cups?

Has some dastardly villains found a way to turn ordinary drool into some kind of telephone super glue?

Is there a secret "Snoozers Club" underground lair, where dozens of agents lie in wait, ready to spring into action the moment they find a nodding WFAN caller so they can hold the phone for them?

There have been millions of theories, but I suspect we may never know the true answer in our lifetime.

Written by Dominick from Hicksville

MooseFanatic
03-25-2011, 08:12
For me, it's Omar from Brooklyn. This guy's rant is hilarious.

The Boss
03-25-2011, 09:22
I heard that guy once with Tony! Is this a regular event for him during overnights?

BrooklynAncestry
03-25-2011, 09:58
This guy sounds like a HOF caller. Good to see Tony had fun with it. Some people just dont know when to call it a night

Jersey John
05-20-2011, 10:55
I think that guy John in Jersey is pretty damn good!

mezz1962
05-20-2011, 11:04
Jersey John ...LOL That was Good LOL :)